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Just a silly song about love...
and here comes the chorus
Fuck you, 2013! 
31st-Dec-2013 01:25 pm
Well... This year was an absolute fucking SUCK-FEST. Betrayal, lies, threats, concussions, root canals, useless hospital visits, psych ward fuckyoutimes, actual fucking natural disasters (well, one), and far, far too many deaths. I hated everything about 2013 and, though I have absolutely no hope for 2014 ('cause really, how will something like a new calendar date magically stop bad shit from happening?), I'm more than happy to not be in 2013 any more.

My nan reckons 2014 should mark the end of my seven years bad luck from when I broke a mirror on school picture day at the beginning of 2006. But I think her Maths are a little off, 'cause my bad luck should have ended a long time ago if that was the case.

Whatever. Here's my "five things" from this year - yeah, I upped the number to five. I wanted to add extra New Years Resolutions, but I kinda struggled with everything else. Particularly the "Five best days" one, 'cause wow. Fuck 2013. Seriously.

Five New Years Resolutions
1. Learn to cope with my illness. I doubt I'll be getting a solid diagnosis or a cure anytime soon, so I'd like to learn how to deal with it. I want to learn coping mechanisms for the times when I start panicking thinking I may die or at least pass out from the pain, and I want to stop being so worried about the possibility of fainting again.
2. Work on my appearance. First off, I want to reach my ultimate goal weight. Then, I want to get the breast reduction I've been wanting since I was, like, ten years old. I may also get a tan and a tattoo this year... maybe. Eventually, I'd like to get braces (even though my dentist said I don't need them), a nose job, and surgery to get deep, even dimples on both of my cheeks, but that might take a while yet, I doubt I'll get any of those done this year.
3. Get my Certificate II in Japanese. Gonna be a bit difficult considering TAFE no longer offers the course. Will have to look into getting it somewhere else - hoping I can continue instead of having to start over.
4. Finish my HSC at TAFE.
5. Stop taking sleeping pills. Ideally, I'd like to be able to sleep without any medication at all, but I don't think I'd be allowed to go off Mirtazapine or Seroquel. Every night, I take one Mirtazapine, two Seroquel, and a sleeping pill (taking an EXTRA sleeping pill if all that won't do the trick!). I want to cut myself down to just the Mirtazapine and, ideally, if my GP says it's okay, one Seroquel instead of two.

Five best days of this year
1. Uh... Wendy coming back to visit before she left to go to back to Vic-fucking-toria in January.
2. The day I had my first root canal appointment and my infected tooth stopped hurting, letting me sleep all night afterwards. Yeah, this year sucked SO fucking much I'm actually including "the day I got a root canal" as one of the best days of the year, what the fuckity fucking FUCK!
3. When Wendy came over at the beginning of December.
4. Christmas Day. It's not like Christmas 2012 would be hard to beat (FUCK that day was awful), but I honestly did have a good time. Plans were made for Christmas lunch at pop's with my Nanna Mc, and the usual trip to Sydney, and I thought it would be too much for me but I managed it and got to see my family <3
5. Hahahahaha 2013 really fucking sucked, I seriously can not think of a fifth. Uhm... Here's hoping tonight (New Years Eve) will be okay, at least?

Five things I learnt this year
1. Trust nobody. Wow, stark contrast to the first time I filled one of these things out, where the first thing I'd learnt was to trust people a bit more.
2. Long distance relationships... Well, they can work out really well if you're really supposed to be with each other, and nobody in the relationship a cheating, lying, emotionally manipulative fuckwit. But mostly, it's just a lot of hard work for very few good moments. For me, my first long distance relationship was really, 100% not worth it at all.
3. "One shade works for all skintones" = LIES. Same with "One size fits all" when it comes to those Genie/Ah bras. More like "one shade works for all shades of bright orange" and "one size fits everyone with a cup size from C to D".
4. Apparently, wearing black on New Years is bad luck. I know, I don't usually care about things like that, but with how traumatisingly horrifying 2013 was... I'm going to need all the good luck I can get, so... (Also, saying "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" first thing in the morning on the 1st of January is supposed to be good luck).
5. I have really poor long distance eyesight. Which sucks, because I swear my vision was absolutely perfect before I got sick.

Five things I did for the first time this year (and liked)
1. Breaking off a toxic friendship. Several, actually - it's the first time I've done this since I started high school - but hey, even at my first high school nobody acted as petty and disgusting as CERTAIN PEOPLE I won't even mention.
2. Uhm... Fuck, I dunno. Um... Got a smart phone?
3. Watched a livestream of an AKB48 Senbatsu Sosenkyo. Oh, and watched the livestream every day for Request Hour 2013. (Also watched the graduation livestreams, but I'd done that for the first time in 2012 for Maeda Atsuko's graduation._
4. Uhm... Got into the whole Gacha thing on Second Life.
5. Electric cigarettes. Pity the one I got (the "E-Vapour") is the shittiest thing ever, you can use it for like ten minutes before you have to recharge it again for several hours. I tired to return it to the shop I got it from, but they said they weren't giving any refunds any more 'cause so many people requested them 'cause they're so fucking shit. Ugh. Still, I liked the flavours, particularly chocolate and tobacco. Apple flavour was disgrossting as fuck, though. Blegh.
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